Star Letter in The Road

My winning letter – a pair of Continental Tyres are heading my way!

Continental Tyres
My prize for a star letter in The Road!

Hats coats and protocols

Since recently becoming a corporate member of MAG I received my first copy of The Road. I am hugely impressed. It’s a really good bikers magazine and in parts very amusing.

In response to the letter from Phil Thomas from issue 60 in which he expresses indignation at being told to take his helmet off when getting fuel: I am reminded of something that occurred a while ago.

I slipped up to my local Shell filling station, on foot, one evening to buy a pint of milk for which I didn’t require a carrier bag. (Ed, very good). Whilst making my purchase a motorcyclist came in, wearing his helmet, and duly paid for his fuel. When he left I said to Merv, the manager, who I know well.

“Merv, aren’t you supposed to ask bikers to remove their helmets before paying?”

He replied in Somerset dialect.

“Under normal circumstances, yes but I knows ‘n see and he’s very ugly. Thing is I didn’t want to frighten off all the other customers.”

So Phil it might be where you go or it might be  something to do with your beauty.

Anyway digging deeper into ‘The ROAD’ I think I read about the editor’s firm belief in the Freedom of Clothing Act. This subject reminded me of an occasion which is actually not related to motorcycles in any way.

I was standing in ‘The Plough’ one Sunday morning with my mate Pete. There were several of us there, leaning comfortably against the bar, enjoying a pint and contemplating life’s events. For the most part we were in silence or making short murmured comments and occupying most of the bar front.

Suddenly a woman entered. At first glance she resembled a male parrot on heat with a colour co-ordination abnormality.

Following the British male barfly decorum she was given a cursory glance by each of those assembled as  she smooched her way along the bar looking for a place to perch. The faces that returned resolutely to stare at the optic shelf were ones of unadulterated shock.

On reaching our entrenched position in front of the cider barrels, Pete turned to welcome her. Clearly breaking all the laws of courtesy, he said:

“Madam, have you given any thought at all to the rest of Somerset society before attiring yourself this morning?”

Regards Hugh Anderson – Sierra Alma Touring

Ed of The Road, The editor has relaxed his normal protocol of confining correspondents letters to a single subject as he likes this one too much to stick to it.